I woke up to a threatening message today, and I really need some advice on how to handle this situation!
Here’s the quick summary: My ex-personal trainer has been harassing me for a year over a review I left because of his unprofessional behavior. I received a troubling text this morning (which I promptly blocked), and I’m feeling overwhelmed.
Now for the backstory: About a year ago, I decided to try out sessions with a personal trainer who had posted a flyer in my town (Vic). Although I’m already quite fit, I wanted some one-on-one coaching to improve my lifting technique. I thought it would be a good fit since he was nearby. However, he worked out of his garage and didn’t seem to understand my fitness goals at all, which unfortunately led to me injuring my neck. I had already paid for eight sessions via bank transfer (I know, not my best decision—his website had all stock photos, and it’s now been taken down!). After just two sessions, I realized it wasn’t working out and needed to focus on my recovery.
That’s when things took a turn. He became very intense and pushy over text, telling me I needed to “examine myself” and that my lack of progress was my fault. I made it clear I didn’t want to return to someone who didn’t respect me—I’m small but fierce, and I didn’t feel comfortable with him at all.
You’d think that would be the end of it, right? Wrong. He refused to refund my money, so I felt compelled to leave a Google review. I warned him beforehand that I would do so if he didn’t comply. I even tried to get help from the ACCC, but since it was a bank transfer, taking him to court wasn’t feasible.
That’s when he snapped. He began calling me repeatedly while drunk and texting me abusive messages, claiming I was ruining “an honest man’s business.” The harassment escalated to the point where he started confronting me in public, and even riding his bike onto the sidewalk to get in my face. I’ve had to learn his shopping schedule to avoid him since he consistently shows up at my local store around 8 PM for drinks.
Fast forward to today— I woke up to a threatening text he sent at 11 PM last night. At first, I wanted to laugh it off, but then I felt genuinely scared. I love my community, and I shouldn’t have to feel threatened by someone like him. While he didn’t make any direct threats of physical harm, during our first confrontation, he did showcase aggressive behavior.
What are my options here? The police have indicated they won’t take action unless he explicitly threatens me with physical harm. I don’t want to escalate things unnecessarily, but this has become very personal for me. I’m relieved he doesn’t know where I live, but the fact that this continues makes me feel like he’s keeping tabs on me. I’m feeling pretty paranoid! Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
I’m really sorry to hear that you’re dealing with this situation—it’s completely understandable to feel scared and frustrated. It’s important to take this seriously, especially since he’s been harassing you for such a long time. Here are a few options you might consider:
Document Everything: Keep a record of all communications, including texts, missed calls, and any interactions you have with him in public. This documentation could be useful if you decide to involve the authorities later.
Contact the Police: Even if they said they wouldn’t act unless he made a direct threat, it might be worth reporting the harassment and showing them your documentation. It can create a record of his behavior, which may help if the situation escalates.
Consider a Restraining Order: If you continue to feel threatened, you might want to speak to a legal professional about the possibility of a restraining order. This could provide you with some protection and officially warn him to stop contacting you.
Reach Out for Support: Talk to friends, family, or trusted members of your community about what’s happening. They can provide emotional support and might even help keep an eye out for you.
Seek Legal Advice: If you can, consult with a lawyer who specializes in harassment or personal injury cases. They can give you tailored advice based on your specific situation and help you navigate your options.
Avoid Confrontation: As tempting as it might be to confront him directly or respond to his messages, it’s usually best to avoid any contact. This helps prevent escalation.
Enhance Your Personal Safety: Consider ways to improve your safety when you’re out and about in your town. This could include walking with friends, varying your routine, or even talking to local businesses about your situation if you feel comfortable.
Remember, you don’t have to handle this alone, and you deserve to feel safe in your community. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help when you need it. Stay strong!