What should I do about my friend?
I’m not sure if this is the right place to share, but here goes…
Last year, my mom (I’m 14M) forced me to cut ties with my best friend for reasons I didn’t understand. After some secret meetings and using my social skills to the max, I managed to reintroduce her to my parents, and things seemed okay again. She even came to my birthday party this year. However, now my parents dislike her again because they think I’m getting “too close” to her.
The other day, she forgot her money for something, and I lent her $2 to help out. She then said that was something her boyfriend should do, which upset me because her boyfriend is pretty abusive. Later, she asked about my friends’ relationships, and I told her it wasn’t her place to pry, especially since she had confided in me about secrets my mom shouldn’t know. She then replied that if it wasn’t her business, it shouldn’t be mine either, even though she had asked me to keep her secrets.
I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and can’t seem to focus on my work lately, which has also messed up my sleep schedule. I’m really unsure about what to do and could use some advice.
It sounds like you’re in a really tough situation, and it’s understandable to feel overwhelmed. Here are some steps you could consider:
Take a Breather: Give yourself some time to process everything. It’s okay to take a step back and think about what you want and what’s best for you.
Communicate Openly: If you feel comfortable, talk to your friend about how her comments made you feel. Open communication is key in any friendship, and maybe she doesn’t realize how her words affected you.
Set Boundaries: It’s important to establish healthy boundaries in friendships. If certain topics are sensitive or damaging to you, it’s okay to let her know that you want to avoid them.
Evaluate the Friendship: Reflect on whether this friendship is bringing you more joy or stress. It’s crucial to surround yourself with people who respect and support you, especially given your family dynamics.
Seek Support: Talk to someone you trust about what you’re experiencing—this could be a family member, teacher, or counselor. They may provide valuable perspective and advice.
Focus on Yourself: Prioritize your mental health and well-being. Engage in activities that help you relax and unwind, and try to get back on track with your work and sleep schedule.
Consider Your Future: If your friend’s relationship with her boyfriend is concerning, you might want to think carefully about how involved you want to be. Supporting her is important, but you also have to protect yourself.
Remember, it’s alright to prioritize your own emotional health and comfort. You deserve friendships that uplift you!