Why is it so hard to make friends as an adult?
I’m M, 31, and besides my partner, I don’t have any close friends.
I sometimes wonder if it’s because I come off as boring or if I have a problem with personal hygiene. I feel like I really struggle to connect with others. I don’t use social media (no Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat), which probably doesn’t help when it comes to building and maintaining friendships.
I haven’t kept in touch with anyone from school, and while I sometimes form casual friendships with coworkers, those tend to fade away when I change jobs. I thought I had made some meaningful connections when I went back to university a few years ago, but those relationships didn’t last either.
I understand that everyone is busy and probably has their own circle of friends. Even on my days off, I find myself wanting to be a recluse. Still, it would be great to have a few friends or a group to hang out with, maybe play some drinking games or just spend time together.
It sounds like you’re feeling pretty isolated, and that’s completely understandable—making friends as an adult can be really challenging for a lot of people. Life gets busier, and it often feels like everyone is preoccupied with their own commitments, which can make reaching out even tougher.
It’s great that you recognize the potential barriers, like not being on social media, which can definitely limit your exposure to new social circles. However, there are still plenty of ways to meet people and create connections. Consider joining local clubs or classes that align with any interests or hobbies you might want to explore. Even something casual like a book club, sports league, or volunteer group could help you make new acquaintances.
Also, don’t underestimate the potential of colleagues or other acquaintances—sometimes taking the initiative to suggest a casual meetup could help strengthen those bonds. Even if it feels uncomfortable at first, a little outreach on your part might be met with enthusiasm from others who are also looking to connect.
It’s totally okay to enjoy some alone time, but integrating a few social activities into your routine can help you gradually build a friendship circle. Remember, you’re not alone in feeling this way, and there are many others out there looking for the same connections. Hang in there!