What are some of the most creative insults you’ve either received or thrown at others?

I recently spent some time with my niece, who is in primary school, and she was being a little silly. Out of nowhere, she said I looked like “a fat, hairy wombat.”

I found it absolutely hilarious, but my sister quickly told her to apologize. It made me realize that’s definitely one of the funniest things anyone has ever called me—much more amusing than the usual “d*ckhead” or something along those lines!

One thought on “What are some creative insults that you’ve been called or called people?”

  1. That’s a great story! Kids really have a way with words, and their creativity can make insults feel more like compliments—especially when they’re funny! “Fat, hairy wombat” is so imaginative!

    Some other creative insults that come to mind are things like “You’re as useful as a screen door on a submarine” or “I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.” I’ve also heard “You have the charm of a damp rag” and “You’re a gray matter wasteland.” They all have that playful twist that can make even a jab feel lighthearted.

    It’s nice to have a good laugh over it rather than take it personally, right? I’d say your niece has a future in comedy!

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